Finding Community as a Young Adult in Johannesburg (Without Forcing It)

There is a particular kind of lonely that comes with being twenty-two in Johannesburg. You moved here for university, or for a job, or because everyone else seemed to. You have a place to live, a roommate you like most days, a routine. You go out on weekends. And on a Tuesday evening, somewhere around 9pm, you realise you have not had a real conversation with anyone in three days.

This post is for that person.

The problem with trying to make friends as an adult

Most of the advice about making friends in your twenties is written for people who already have a friend group to start with. Join a club, the advice says. Volunteer for something. Take a class. None of that is bad advice. None of it actually works if you are the kind of person who walks into a room of strangers and immediately wants to leave. Most of us are that kind of person.

Why UseCan works differently

UseCan is the youth programme we run out of our Bible study community in Sandton. The reason it works for young adults in Johannesburg is that nobody is asked to perform. You are not pitching yourself to a networking group. You are not introducing yourself to a circle of people who have known each other since boarding school. You are showing up to a Wednesday evening, sitting down, and being part of a Bible study that has been running for ten years. By the second week, somebody remembers your name. By the fourth week, somebody asks how your week was. By the eighth week, you realise this is just your life now.

The soft landing we did not plan for

When we started UseCan, it was for teenagers. Then we noticed the same thing kept happening. University students from Wits and UJ, young professionals new to Johannesburg, people who had moved here from Durban or Cape Town or Pretoria, would show up because a friend had dragged them along. They would stay because nobody asked them to be anything other than curious. The Bible study became a soft landing place. People came for the Wednesday night and stayed for the friendships.

What you actually do on a Wednesday

Honestly, less than you think. The Bible study itself runs about an hour. The hour after is when the real thing happens. We sit around, drink tea, argue about theology, talk about jobs, talk about parents, talk about whether to move back home, talk about whether to stay. We have watched several couples meet in that hour after. We have watched several friendships last long after people moved on from Johannesburg.

Where we are, and who shows up

The main evening is Wednesday at 7:30pm, online via Google Meet, so the room includes people from Sandton, Randburg, Midrand, Fourways, and a few from further out. We also run an in-person session in Parkmore once a month for anyone who wants to meet face to face. The age range of UseCan has stretched to include people from about eighteen to mid-thirties, and the room works because the people in it are mostly at a similar life stage: figuring things out, open to honest conversation, not trying to be impressive.

If you are not sure

Call Mr. Sim on +27 77 487 1295 any weekday and ask whether UseCan is a fit for where you are right now. There is no commitment, no signup form, and no one will follow up with a guilt message if you do not come back. The Wednesday evening is what it is. It might not be for you. It might be exactly the thing you have been looking for in Johannesburg for the last six months. The only way to know is to try one.