Forgiveness in a Country That Has Not Forgotten: A South African Christian's Honest Conversation

South Africa carries the weight of a system that was deliberately built on the dispossession of the majority of its people. South Africa carries the weight of a Truth and Reconciliation Commission that heard nearly seven thousand testimonies and was not able to hear all of them. South Africa carries the weight of families who know what was done to them and have never received an apology.

The Christian in South Africa is not outside this weight. The Christian in South Africa is also called, by the same Bible that calls the Christian in any other country, to forgive.

This post is an attempt to have the conversation the Bible way. Not the prosperity gospel way. Not the legalism way. The Bible way. The way that takes the long view. The way that takes the weight seriously.

What the Bible Actually Says About Forgiveness

Matthew 18:21-22 — Lord, how many times shall I forgive my brother or sister who sins against me? As many as seven times? Jesus answered, I tell you, not seven times, but seventy-seven times. Ephesians 4:32 — Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you. Colossians 3:13 — Forgive as the Lord forgave you. Matthew 6:14-15 — For if you forgive other people when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. Luke 23:34 — Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they are doing. Acts 7:60 — Lord, do not hold this sin against them.

What you notice is that forgiveness in the Bible is not a one-time event. Forgiveness is a posture. Forgiveness is a discipline. The Bible does not promise that the forgiveness will be quick. The Bible promises that the Christian is called to the forgiveness.

What Forgiveness Is Not

Forgiveness Is Not Forgetting

The Bible does not say that forgiveness requires forgetting. Psalm 137 — the exiles in Babylon remembered Jerusalem, they wept when they remembered Zion. The memory can stay. The memory is the witness. The clenching is what forgiveness loosens.

Forgiveness Is Not Reconciliation

Forgiveness is a one-sided act. Reconciliation is a two-sided act. Where there is no repentance, there is no reconciliation. Where there is no reconciliation, there can still be forgiveness. The Christian can forgive without being reconciled. The Christian can pray for the wrongdoer without sitting at the table with the wrongdoer.

Forgiveness Is Not the End of the Justice Conversation

Micah 6:8 — He has shown you, O mortal, what is good. And what does the Lord require of you? To act justly and to love mercy and to walk humbly with your God. The verse pairs justice and mercy. The verse does not choose one over the other. The Christian can forgive the person who did the wrong and still call for the justice.

Forgiveness Is Not a Single Moment

The Bible says seventy-seven times. Forgiveness in the Bible is a practice. Forgiveness is the daily decision to release the wrong that came up again in the news, in the conversation, in the memory, in the dream.

The Four Stories the Bible Study Has Heard

Story 1 — The Personal Wrong

A friend betrayed you. A spouse was unfaithful. A relative stole from you. A business partner defrauded you. The practice for the personal wrong is the long obedience — the small decision to release the wrong each morning, the small decision to pray for the person who wronged you.

Story 2 — The Family Wrong

A parent favoured one child over the others. A parent abandoned the family. A sibling took what was not theirs. The practice for the family wrong is the practice of the boundaries. The Bible is not against boundaries. The Bible is against the abuse.

Story 3 — The Communal Wrong

A community was dispossessed. A community was displaced. A community was excluded. The communal wrong is the hardest kind of story. The communal wrong has been passed across generations. The Bible assumes that the Christian lives inside a history. The Bible does not ask the Christian to pretend the history is not there. The Bible asks the Christian to do the slow work of reconciliation across the history.

Story 4 — The Wrong the Christian Did

The Christian participated in the system. The Christian benefitted from the dispossession. The Christian was silent when the Christian should have spoken. Luke 19:8 — Zacchaeus stood up and said to the Lord, 'Look, Lord! Here and now I give half of my possessions to the poor, and if I have cheated anybody out of anything, I will pay back four times the amount.' The confession is named in James 5:16 — Confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed.

Six Practices That Have Helped the Bible Study Members With Forgiveness

Practice 1 — The Daily Release

Each morning, before the day starts, the Christian who is carrying the wrong says a brief prayer releasing the wrong from the centre of the heart. The prayer asks God to hold the wrong.

Practice 2 — The Letter That Does Not Get Sent

Several members have written the letter to the person who wronged them. The letter has named every detail of the wrong. The letter has not been sent. The letter has been the way the Christian said the thing without reopening the door.

Practice 3 — The Prayer for the Wrongdoer

Not for the wrongdoer's harm. For the wrongdoer's good. Matthew 5:44 — Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you.

Practice 4 — The Confession to a Safe Person

The Christian who is carrying the wrong tells the safe person. The safe person does not minimise. The safe person does not gossip. The safe person prays. James 5:16 assumes this kind of friendship.

Practice 5 — The Boundary Where Necessary

The boundary is not the unforgiveness. The boundary is the wall around the Christian while the forgiveness is being worked out.

Practice 6 — The Generational Work

The generational work is the work of telling the children the truth about the family history. The generational work is the work of teaching the children the language and the songs and the prayers of the community. The generational work is the opposite of the unforgiveness.

A Prayer for the South African Christian and Forgiveness

God of the long forgiveness — we bring you the wrong that has been done to us. We bring you the family that did the wrong. We bring you the country that did the wrong. We bring you the system that did the wrong. We bring you the silence that did the wrong. We do not pretend the wrong is small. We name the wrong as wrong. We confess that we have clenched the wrong into a fist. We confess that we have rehearsed the wrong in our minds. We confess that we have let the wrong become the centre of our hearts. We ask you to loosen the fist. We ask you to release the rehearsal. We ask you to make room in the centre of the heart for something other than the wrong. We ask you for the grace to pray for the wrongdoer. We ask you for the grace to set the boundary where the boundary is necessary. We pray for South Africa. We pray for the families who have not been able to forgive. We pray for the families who have not been able to ask for forgiveness. In the name of the one who said from the cross, Father, forgive them, and who himself forgave the one who denied him three times. Amen.

Johannesburg Bible Study Church meets online every Wednesday at 7:30pm. The forgiveness is the long obedience. We do it together. Call +27 77 487 1295 or +27 67 442 4461 to join.