The Marriage After the Honeymoon: A South African Christian's Guide to the Twenty Years That Follow the Wedding

The Scene

The wedding was beautiful. Now it is fifteen years later in Randburg. The children are in school. The mortgage is paid. The parents are aging. The couple has not had a proper conversation in weeks.

1 Corinthians 13:4-7 — *"Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonour others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs."*

The South African Christian in the situations described above is not alone. The Bible has been speaking to these situations for two thousand years. The Wednesday Bible study in Parkmore has been hearing these passages read, discussed, and applied for ten years. What follows is a distillation of what the Bible says and what we have learned from the journey.

The Bible's Picture of Marriage

Genesis 2:24 — 'a man leaves his father and mother and is united to his wife, and the two become one flesh.' The covenant is forged in the wedding ceremony and tested in the twenty years that follow.

What the Bible Says About Husbands and Wives

Ephesians 5:21: 'Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ.' The husband who loves unconditionally needs the wife's trust. The wife who respects unconditionally needs the husband's trustworthiness.

The Seasons of the Marriage

The South African marriage goes through distinct seasons. The young couple navigating in-laws. The couple with young children. The couple with teenagers. The couple with adult children. The Bible speaks into each one.

Practical Habits for the Long Marriage

Keep one regular conversation alive. Pray together, even if only once a week. Protect the marriage from isolation. Seek counsel early, not late. Remember why you chose this person. Recall the covenant regularly.

A Prayer for the Marriage

Father, we pray for the marriage that is tired. Breathe new life into the covenant you have joined together. Teach us to love and to respect. Teach us to keep choosing each other, not just on the wedding day, but every day after. Amen.

A Closing Prayer

Father, we bring this struggle to you. We ask for your wisdom, your strength, and your presence. We ask for the community to hold us. We ask for the hope that does not disappoint. Amen.

*Johannesburg Bible Study Church meets online every Wednesday at 7:30pm for a Bible study that is intentionally local and biblically grounded. The Bible study is free, open to anyone, and free to join or to leave. Call Mr. Sim on +27 77 487 1295 or Ms. Dora on +27 67 442 4461.*