Marriage & Faith

Marriage Counselling in Johannesburg: What a Bible Study Can (and Cannot) Do for a Marriage

If you typed marriage counselling johannesburg into Google, you are probably somewhere on the spectrum between "we have been snappy for months and I am worried" and "we have not spoken properly in two weeks and one of us is Googling". Either way — you are here. That is already a step.

When a Bible Study Helps a Marriage (and When It Does Not)

Let us be honest. A Bible study will not save a marriage that is already over. It will not fix an affair. It will not stop a partner from being violent. For those situations, you need a trained therapist — preferably one with experience in marriage work — and you need them now, not next month.

What a Bible study can do, over months and years, is provide the daily rhythm of a Christian community that holds marriages. It gives you two hours a week to sit beside your spouse and listen to someone read slowly. It gives you other couples who are also figuring it out. It gives you a vocabulary for the things you never learned to say. None of that is counselling. All of it helps.

In ten years of running our Wednesday group in Sandton, we have seen couples come in on the edge of separation and stay for the long road back. We have also seen couples realise, in the company of others, that they are done. Both outcomes are honest. Both are okay.

What Wednesday Evening Is Like for Couples

Most couples in our community log in from the same room. Some sit on the same couch. A few log in from different rooms because they need the space, and that is fine too. We open in prayer, read a passage, and discuss.

About once every six to eight weeks, we do a "marriage evening". Instead of going round the room with a general question, we read a passage about marriage — Ephesians 5, Song of Songs, 1 Corinthians 13 — and we ask the couples to talk to each other in front of the group. It is gentle. There is no pressure to share anything personal. People who want to listen are free to listen.

The point of these evenings is not to fix anything in one night. The point is to give couples a regular, low-stakes reason to look at each other and say something true.

Who Comes

We have about a dozen regular couples in our Wednesday group, ranging from newlyweds in their first year to couples celebrating their fortieth anniversary. Some came in together from the start. Others came separately and their partner joined later. A handful joined after a marriage crisis, on the recommendation of a counsellor or a friend.

Theologically, we are non-denominational and we keep it that way on purpose. Some couples are strongly Christian. Some are "figuring it out". Some are not Christian at all and have just come because a friend invited them. The only expectation is that you listen and treat each other with respect.

Passages That Have Helped Couples in Our Group

1 Corinthians 13 — "Love is patient, love is kind"

This is the most-read wedding passage in the English-speaking world, but it is much harder to live than to read at an altar. We have spent four weeks on this chapter at a time with couples, asking the slow question: "Where in your marriage right now is this hard?" The honest answers tend to be the helpful ones.

Ephesians 5:21-33 — "Submit to one another"

This passage is famously misunderstood. The first sentence is the key: "Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ." The verses that follow about wives and husbands only make sense inside that first sentence. Mutual submission, not unilateral obedience, is the point. We have seen couples re-read this and have a long overdue conversation.

Song of Songs — "I have found the one whom my soul loves"

Surprisingly tender and erotic. The book is a collection of love poems between a man and a woman. It does not mention God once. Some of our couples have found this passage surprisingly refreshing after years of heavy theology — it is a reminder that marriage is also meant to be joyful, playful, and physical.

Mark 10:6-9 — "What God has joined together"

Jesus on marriage. Short. Direct. He says marriage is a permanent union, and then immediately says "let no one separate what God has joined together". This passage is heavy for couples who are struggling — and that is part of its purpose. Marriage is hard. It is supposed to be.

Colossians 3:12-17 — "Clothe yourselves with compassion"

A practical passage. Bear with each other. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. Over all these virtues put on love. We have used this with couples who are stuck in cycles of small resentments and it has helped them start a new rhythm.

Christian Marriage Counsellors in Johannesburg and Sandton

We are not a substitute for a real therapist. If your marriage needs more than a Bible study can offer, here are a few options. We do not get referral fees. We list them because we want you to get the right help.

• Marriage Foundation South Africa — Christian, premarital and marriage counselling. Offices in Randburg.
• Careline Counselling — multi-disciplinary, Christian-friendly. Centred in Linden.
• Family Life Centre Johannesburg — for couples and families, sliding scale.
• FAMSA (Family and Marriage Society of South Africa) — secular but solid. Multiple Johannesburg branches.
• Your local pastor or priest — if you belong to a church, your minister is usually the first call. Many churches in Sandton offer premarital and marriage counselling.

Most medical aids in South Africa cover a portion of registered marriage therapy sessions. If cost is a concern, ask the therapist about sliding-scale fees.

Frequently Asked Questions

The Honest Bottom Line

We are not going to tell you that a Bible study will save your marriage. We are not going to tell you that prayer fixes everything. What we will tell you is that there is a small group in Johannesburg that meets on Wednesday evenings, that couples have been finding their way back to each other in that group for years, and that the door is open. There is no fee. There is no obligation. Show up once. See what you think.

If you would like to join, here are the two phone numbers: Mr. Sim +27 77 487 1295, Ms. Dora +27 67 442 4461. One sentence is enough. "We would like to try the Wednesday Bible study" is a fine first message.